Thursday, December 15, 2016

Meet Frank Wolferson: Trump's Pick for the Bunny Protection Agency


On the heals of Trump tapping Rick Perry to head up the Environmental Protection Agency, it appears that the president elect has chosen Frank Wolferson to lead the Bunny Protection Agency. While a formal announcement is expected later today, Trump transition team spokesperson, Snidely Whiplash did not deny reports that the decision had already been made.

When asked if Wolferson was the likely pick to lead the BPA, Whiplash menacingly twisted his mustache between his thumb and forefinger and giggled. 

Wolferson, the head of the National Predator Alliance, a non-profit organization dedicated to protecting the rights of carnivores, came under fire in May of last year when he suggested that bunnies and other prey species should be registered in a national database as a means to combat domestic terrorism.

Although Wolferson never gave specifics as to the correlation of bunny, deer, mouse and squirrel population growth and an increase in domestic terrorism, he continued to push for a national registry, or as Wolferson referred to it, an inventory, of herbivorous animals.

While confirmation hearings may be lengthy, Wolferson is expected to be confirmed due to the fact that the majority of congress are essentially wolves in sheep clothing. 

Monday, November 14, 2016

Presidential To-Do List

1. Get rid of Obamacare

"THE ROLLOUT OF OBAMACARE IS A TOTAL DISASTER AND AN EMBARRASSMENT TO OUR COUNTRY. THE WORLD IS WATCHING AND LAUGHING.$635,000,000 WEBSITE!" - 19 Oct 2013

"ObamaCare is one of the worst political disasters of all time - 4,992,343 AMERICANS LOSING COVERAGE, LESS THAN 50,OOO NEW SIGNUPS." - 12 Nov 2013

"Obama is giving Social Security & ObamaCare to illegals, yet wants to cut military benefits… Disgrace!" - 4 Dec 2014

"Wow, just saw an ad - Cruz is lying on so many levels. There is nobody more against ObamaCare than me, will repeal & replace. He lies!" - 31 Jan 2016

"We will immediately repeal and replace ObamaCare - and nobody can do that like me. We will save $'s and have much better healthcare!" - 9 Feb 2016

"ObamaCare is a total disaster. Hillary Clinton wants to save it by making it even more expensive. Doesn't work, I will REPEAL AND REPLACE!" - 3 Nov 2016

“Either Obamacare will be amended, or repealed and replaced.” - 11 Nov 2016

“We’re going to do it simultaneously. It’ll be just fine. That’s what I do. I do a good job. We’re not going to have like a two-day period and we’re not going to have a two-year period where there’s nothing. It will be repealed and replaced. It’ll be great health care for much less money.” - 13 Nov 2016

 https://assets.donaldjtrump.com/_landings/contract/O-TRU-102316-Contractv02.pdf

2. Build a wall

3. Stop ISIS

4. Get out of TPP

5. Get rid of NAFTA

6. Ban immigrants from terrorist countries